Hey, World. Periods Still Suck

Thoughts on how annoying it is to have a uterus

Photo by: Erol Ahmed

The idea that a handful of mine had been lying dormant and would soon pull me into an involuntary fertility rite felt like a betrayal.

In the decade that followed, I saw tampons as ticking time bombs. The moment one went in, I started my stopwatch, quickly jumping into the ocean or rushing through tennis practice, then sprinting to nearest toilet to rip it out before I turned septic.

During my period, I wander teary-eyed into bodegas and use dried salami logs to knock down tampon boxes from shelves I can’t reach.

For centuries, we’ve been tilling fields, dancing elaborate jigs, migrating by land and sea, earning degrees, breaking records, raising kids, growing companies — all while feeling the slow, steady drip of blood stalactites in our collective uterin caves.

Essayist. Storyteller for brands. Ride or die Brooklynite. addiestuber.com

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