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Addie Stuber
Addie Stuber

102 Followers

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Published in The Haven

·Jul 17, 2021

Eyeshadow Pallets With Narrative Arcs

Think these color names are nonsensical? Think again! —

Satire

1 min read

Eyeshadow Pallets With Narrative Arcs
Eyeshadow Pallets With Narrative Arcs
Satire

1 min read


Published in The Haven

·Apr 2, 2021

Of Mice and Women

Who’s really in charge here? — New York City is a gigantic experiment. An island of stimuli and learned responses, one of which involves my ankles. It doesn’t matter what is moving near them. A balled-up newspaper. Or dried leaves. Or crumpled foil wrappers. Or torn caution tape. Or Chinese takeout menus. Or tear-away strips from…

Comedy Writing

6 min read

Of Mice and Women
Of Mice and Women
Comedy Writing

6 min read


Published in P.S. I Love You

·Dec 9, 2020

To the Ones Who Have My Butt

Taking care of yourself is a kindness to others — It’s Halloween and I’m on the F train, dressed as Ziggy Stardust. A woman plants her phone inches from my face, the flash firing before I can protest. Her pupils are dilated and she’s dripping with mismatched tote bags, like an adjunct without an office. …

Love

4 min read

To the Ones Who Have My Butt
To the Ones Who Have My Butt
Love

4 min read


Nov 11, 2020

Exhausted By Joy

Field notes from the day Biden won the election — “Where were you when you found out Biden had won?” I was drinking coffee in my apartment, watching The Great British Bake Off. I was wearing an XXL t-shirt advertising Brooklyn Brewery’s Defender IPA (a limited edition beer made for Comic-Con) and Christmas pajama pants. I was confused. I heard…

Election 2020

3 min read

Exhausted By Joy
Exhausted By Joy
Election 2020

3 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Mar 21, 2020

Coronavirus Season Is The New Cuffing Season

If you’re single, abandon your standards, commit to the nearest healthy body and try these tips — Cuffing Season has come to a close, but Coronavirus Season is just getting started. Similar to Cuffing Season, Coronavirus Season is a period of time where people are quick to jump into relationships. Why? The forecast is depressing, serial dating is too germy, and the only sanitary place to hang…

Humor

3 min read

Coronavirus Season Is The New Cuffing Season
Coronavirus Season Is The New Cuffing Season
Humor

3 min read


Dec 31, 2019

I Won’t Miss 2019

Cheers to pushing the reset button — I watched John Mulaney’s new children’s show parody and one song in particular resonated with me: I saw a white lady standin’ on the street just sobbin’ And I think about it once a week It was two years ago Christmas time, foot of snow Passing through Union Square And…

Life Lessons

2 min read

I Won’t Miss 2019
I Won’t Miss 2019
Life Lessons

2 min read


Published in The Salve

·Dec 23, 2019

Finding God When It All Goes Quiet

Tidy, contained God is easier to worship, but crumbles in the presence of my big, nuanced problems — I’m at a festival in Allihies, Ireland. To the left of us are houses painted gumball pink, blue, yellow and green. To the right is endless sea. People spill out from steamy pubs onto the street, forming a semicircle around musicians playing classic Irish ballads like “Stairway to Heaven” and…

Travel

7 min read

Finding God When It All Goes Quiet
Finding God When It All Goes Quiet
Travel

7 min read


Jul 31, 2019

Hey, World. Periods Still Suck

Thoughts on how annoying it is to have a uterus — Periods are really en vogue right now. There’s chic, absorbent underwear you bleed all over on purpose! Fancy subscription services that deliver 100% organic tampons to your front porch! Sleek phone apps that track your cycle via colorful flowcharts! It’s as if menstruation is the new It Girl and we’ve…

Women

7 min read

Hey, World. Periods Still Suck
Hey, World. Periods Still Suck
Women

7 min read


Jul 21, 2019

Everyone Needs a Summer Sack, Stat

Don’t call it a muumuu. It’s a Summer Sack and you’re going to be begging for one come August — Normally, I don’t fall hard for fashion trends, but this summer’s proliferation of maxis influenced by low-key California Cool has produced a slew of beachy, shapeless dresses I’m ready to share my life with. Some might call them muumuus. I have chosen to lovingly refer to them as Summer Sacks. …

Nonfiction

4 min read

Everyone Needs a Summer Sack, Stat
Everyone Needs a Summer Sack, Stat
Nonfiction

4 min read


Published in The Salve

·Jul 1, 2019

What It’s Like Being a Christian Who Is Also a Feminist

Some people think these identities are in conflict with each other — “What’s your take on gender roles in Christian relationships?” I choked on the whisky I had been sipping. The question was casually posed by a guy I met on Hinge. Initially, I had been looking forward to meeting him. …

Christianity

7 min read

What It’s Like Being a Christian Who Is Also a Feminist
What It’s Like Being a Christian Who Is Also a Feminist
Christianity

7 min read

Addie Stuber

Addie Stuber

102 Followers

Essayist. Storyteller for brands. Ride or die Brooklynite. addiestuber.com

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